Not a Zero Sum Game

Ah Mother’s Day, a day to give thanks to the wondrous gifts that mothers give us: support, unconditional love, hugs and kisses. The ads tell us that is how it should be. The rides to activities, the open hearted listening to our problems and helpful advise, the people who say they wouldn’t be where they are if not for the support of their mom. But what about the people who do not have that. People who have lost their mom, or whose mom wasn’t supportive, wasn’t there for them. What about the women who desperately want children, but can’t have them. This day, those images, are painful, representing an ideal that they do not get to experience. I got to wondering if for every thing we celebrate, there must be someone who wanted that thing badly, but could not have it. How painful that must be. For every player drafted in the NFL, there is someone who wasn’t selected. For every college grad there is someone who didn’t get in to their school of choice or couldn’t afford the cost and is lost. I say for every.. but maybe it’s not a one to one ratio. But we can’t all have everything we’ve ever wanted. Perhaps the cracks that appear from the loss of not having what we want are what makes us what we are. Perhaps the reinforcement of what hurt us makes us stronger. Perhaps the drive to fill the need in some other way makes us better, fulfilled in a different way. I just wish more people could see it that, appreciate it; appreciate what they do have rather than mourn what they do not.
So though it’s almost over, Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms doing the hardest, but most rewarding job there is. To the moms who do live up to the dream especially. And to my own mom, who fulfilled none of those dreams, but in that made me strong in other ways, made me able to take care of myself, made me see what not to do.

Life isn’t a zero sum game. You get what you get, but it’s up to you what you do with it.

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